Personal Notes Series 003 : Ordeals and Purpose

It's been 5 solid years since I started active trading. And as I look back to all that I've been through - the memories of all the good and bad experiences, It still feels as if it's not enough, and that I know nothing.

There are days when I wake and think 

"How the hell did I got this far?"

I wasn't a full time trader when I started.

And as I an idealist, it was hard to live in a corrupted world.

I remember my strong distaste for having a job and working for bosses and supervisors that disregarded excellence, progress and innovation. It saddened me when I saw the people in power, tripping and bullying those who were weak. I know how it feels to be weak and I wanted to be a defender. A hero. But it always broke my heart when I was deemed wrong and had to suffer the consequences whenever I tried standing up to evil.

"Tiis ka lang. Matatapos din to."

But for how long?

I guess that was one of the reasons that pushed me to where I am
 now. I swore that time not bow down to anyone but God.

Trading was the perfect escape. 

No forced "OT"

No corrupt BOSS

No job I didn't like

I was naive. So I Borrowed trading money and took the leap of faith.

(I DO NOT RECOMMEND YOU DO THIS)

There were seasons when I lost a lot and almost went crazy. Just imagine borrowing 4 Million and Lose 3M+ , then all of a sudden the people who you borrowed from (who by the way, don't know each other) would ask for their money at the same time.

But looking at how things went, I know that I had to go through that terrible experience for a reason.

I got to know and experience that there really is a God out there.

That it wasn't just tradition or religion.

I got to understand who I was, that I had purpose in life.

To inspire others. (Naiinspire nga ba kayo?) 
To set an example. A standard.

And be a testimony of God's love and principles.

I look at some of my trades and go

"Meh."

But deep inside I understand that it is by God's power and principles that I am able to pull off trades beyond the average trader. For I know very well who I am - that I do not always have the patience nor the discipline.

I remember another experience, of God telling me one time to divide and give 6 figures to several groups of people. And during this time, I had a 7 figure loss In my port. It was hard. But I had faith.

"If God won't save me on this ordeal, I'll just have my favorite food
 for the rest of the year - or the rest of  my life lang naman."

Of course I would be lying If I said I didn't have my doubts.

"Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of 
everything you produce. Then He will fill your barns with grain,
 and your vats will overflow with good wine."

What BS is this?

Common sense would tell us that it is always better to receive than
 to give. Giving is an honorable act. But who in their right mind
 thinks giving is better than receiving?

 But I tell you, try the principle above and you'll be surprised.

Tithing or surrendering 10% of what you have to God can do wonders.

Imagine what God can do if you act in faith and give more.

I guess sooner or later we'll end up like William Colgate.

5 Awesome roller coaster years.

Not sure how I'll end this post. So I will just share what happened several nights ago when we had an open chat with non ZFT Traders. We had a great time. I had a great time. And after all the technical and personal questions people had, one student asked me this:

(Ano nga ba? What's yours?)

Of course "Pills" wasn't my answer.

"The essence of being a trader? 

parang miss universe lang ah..."

"To be a master of one's emotions and 

to risk not just for one's own benefit 

but for others."

-Love ZF